For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing?
Question by : For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing?
Ethan ran into the living room with kelvin behind him, carrying the smashed cake.
” Mr. Gustave…,” Kelvin yelled from the middle of the living room.
Ethan elbowed Kelvin. ‘Don’t make a scene,”
“What, happened?” Mrs Gustave came running out of the kitchen, “for god’s sake, are you ok?”
She examined Ethan. “why are you yelling Kelvin?”
“It’s Ethan,” He said, ” something strange happened on our way home, we..”
“stop it now,” Mr gustave came in, ” do you want to give an explanation to the smashed cake,
fine we’ll bring another one, but stay calm.”
” no,” Kelvin said, ” it’s not about the cake, it’s about.”
He stopped and eyed Ethan as if taking his permission to speak. ” it’ about Ethan, he can heal wounded things with his singing voice.”
” what ?” Ramsey threw the strap of colored papers from his hand, ” are you kidding me? He
can’t even make a couple of eggs, he just hopless.”
Ramsey and quentin laughed.
” no,” kelvin said, ” i’m not lying. Fine, wait….”
Kelvin ran to the kitchen. He came back with a knife.
” look,” he ran the knife across his palm, and everyone watched as the blood dripped down the
carpet.
” are you crazy?” Gustav yelled at kelvin,” why are you hurting yourself?”
” Go on Ethan,” Kelvin yelled, ” show them.”
Ethan swallowed and walked to the middle of the living room. His body shivered. What if his voice didn’t heal Kelvin’s wound. He’d look very bad infront of his parents and ramsey would keep on making jokes about him for the coming three years.
” Stabat mater.
dolorosa, juxta crucem
eh lacrimosa.”
Ethan’s voice shifted to the high, boy soprano register. His shoulders shook and his forhead got sweaty.
kelvin’s wound started stitching itself up, as if an invisible needle and thread ran through his skin.
Ethan finished singing, and kelvin raised his palm in the air. ” do you see,” he said, turning in a circle, ” spick and span.”
Quentin jumped from the sofa and grasped Kelvin’s hand. ” you’re lying, Ethan did nothing, you didn’t wound yourself from the beginning. It’s a cheap trick.”
” shut up,” Kelvin pulled his hand back. ” you’re just jealous because Ethan can do something other than walking around and stealing things.”
” do you mean me?” Quentin shoved kelvin in the shoulder, but Ethan got in and pulled Quentin back. ” we don’t want a fight here,”
Mr and Mrs Gustav were eyeing each other. There jaws dropped to their necks. Elma’s prophecy got fulfilled. One of their children will have a magical power that will shape the future of redville village, and this child was Ethan.
( this a scene from chapter three.)
it’s for ages 9-12
Best answer:
Answer by ^kisses and hearts?
I am twelve and you made a lot of grammar mistakes, you should of did the plot a little more interesting sorry you have a lot to learn.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjI0a5jECFgGFwd9eA7knCXsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091017122844AAgBZGa
Give your answer to this question below!
”
