Comments for Cure Sweaty http://curesweaty.com Find out how to stop your sweating problems Wed, 29 Feb 2012 19:58:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing? by Tashina http://curesweaty.com/for-all-teenagers-what-do-you-think-of-my-writing-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3061 Tashina Wed, 29 Feb 2012 19:58:16 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/for-all-teenagers-what-do-you-think-of-my-writing-2/#comment-3061 Yeah im 14 and i enjoy it does need work thought but yeah i hope you can finish it and get it published.:) Yeah im 14 and i enjoy it does need work thought but yeah i hope you can finish it and get it published.:)

]]> Comment on For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing? by Let's Play Tag http://curesweaty.com/for-all-teenagers-what-do-you-think-of-my-writing-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3060 Let's Play Tag Wed, 29 Feb 2012 19:27:35 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/for-all-teenagers-what-do-you-think-of-my-writing-2/#comment-3060 a) You need to learn to spell. b) You need to learn grammar. a) You need to learn to spell.
b) You need to learn grammar.

]]> Comment on For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing? by Hailey http://curesweaty.com/for-all-teenagers-what-do-you-think-of-my-writing-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3059 Hailey Wed, 29 Feb 2012 19:10:50 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/for-all-teenagers-what-do-you-think-of-my-writing-2/#comment-3059 Thats Complicated To Understand. Not Good For Someone 9-12. Thats Complicated To Understand. Not Good For Someone 9-12.

]]> Comment on For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing? by Juicy Couture Girl http://curesweaty.com/for-all-teenagers-what-do-you-think-of-my-writing-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3058 Juicy Couture Girl Wed, 29 Feb 2012 18:26:38 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/for-all-teenagers-what-do-you-think-of-my-writing-2/#comment-3058 i think you need better grammar. but i love the whole story element. just work on proper nouns and maybe add in some periods, question marks, commas, etc. i think you need better grammar. but i love the whole story element. just work on proper nouns and maybe add in some periods, question marks, commas, etc.

]]> Comment on Im afraid to ask this but……? by Qureshi? http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3057 Qureshi? Sat, 25 Feb 2012 21:01:57 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/#comment-3057 I like it. Good job. I want to read more. I like it. Good job. I want to read more.

]]> Comment on Im afraid to ask this but……? by Roko http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3056 Roko Sat, 25 Feb 2012 20:56:49 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/#comment-3056 I love it..wow it so hard to believe your 13. You have real talent. I suggest you make it more detailed. I wanted to know more about the situation Lille is in. Take me there to her moment. Whats her heart rate like? does her breath flow changes? This mum of hers what's her thin hands like? Are they cold or hot. Did Lille hands shake when her mum touched her? How did her body react to this the touch of this cold hearted woman? Tell me more about the real mum. What else made her special? Is it the warm glare she would give Lille that made her feel safe. Try not to use buts & ands because it breaks the rhythm of the text. e.g 'I'm hallucinating' she thought. She wasn't. Well Done I mean it! You are just sharping your pencil. You can only get better. I love it..wow it so hard to believe your 13.
You have real talent. I suggest you make it more detailed. I wanted to know more about the situation Lille is in. Take me there to her moment.
Whats her heart rate like?
does her breath flow changes?
This mum of hers what’s her thin hands like? Are they cold or hot.
Did Lille hands shake when her mum touched her?
How did her body react to this the touch of this cold hearted woman?
Tell me more about the real mum. What else made her special? Is it the warm glare she would give Lille that made her feel safe.

Try not to use buts & ands because it breaks the rhythm of the text.
e.g ‘I’m hallucinating’ she thought. She wasn’t.

Well Done I mean it!
You are just sharping your pencil. You can only get better.

]]> Comment on Im afraid to ask this but……? by emmmaaa07 http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3055 emmmaaa07 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 20:13:26 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/#comment-3055 For 13 years i think you've got alot of potential. I love the description you've used in certain parts. The only negative i can think of is that in some parts it may be better just to get straight to the point instead of going on although if you want to get alot of description in it and show the talent, change it round abit to keep the reader interested. i do really like this extract though For 13 years i think you’ve got alot of potential. I love the description you’ve used in certain parts. The only negative i can think of is that in some parts it may be better just to get straight to the point instead of going on although if you want to get alot of description in it and show the talent, change it round abit to keep the reader interested. i do really like this extract though

]]> Comment on Im afraid to ask this but……? by chic32 http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3054 chic32 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:51:41 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/#comment-3054 i like it alot!!! sent me the book i wanna read more! you have a gift... very impressed. i like it alot!!! sent me the book i wanna read more!
you have a gift… very impressed.

]]> Comment on Im afraid to ask this but……? by heidi http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3053 heidi Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:50:29 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/#comment-3053 wow, you motivate me to keep writing. A-. nice job :) wow, you motivate me to keep writing. A-. nice job :)

]]> Comment on Im afraid to ask this but……? by Vunerable http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3052 Vunerable Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:33:19 +0000 http://curesweaty.com/im-afraid-to-ask-this-but-2/#comment-3052 what happens next!!?!?!?!??!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! what happens next!!?!?!?!??!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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